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[ perfect / indiscretions]|
"You know what confuses me," Sean asked, folding his jacket in fourths and placing it on the chair. "Everybody says they expect you to take the shampoo... and that doesn't make sense."
Christian rolled his eyes, throwing his coat over Sean's and leaning against the wall. "Okay."
"It doesn't make sense that they expect you to take the shampoo. I mean, sure, each individual bottle doesn't cost that much... but collectively..." He paused, shrugging. "You'd just think they'd charge you for it on the bill or something."
"They can't do that," Christian said, kicking off his shoes and curling his socked feet into the carpet as he began to loosen his tie. "Not everyone takes the soap, so they can't preemptively charge you for it." He smirked at him, nodding towards the bathroom. "You don't take it."
"But if they charged me for it, I would," Sean said, throwing his hands out as he began to loosen his tie as well.
"You know they throw it out after it's opened, don't you Sean," Christian said, tossing his tie onto the jackets. "It's not like they use the remnants for the next go around."
"I know, but..."
"You obsess about the weirdest things," Christian said, walking towards him and grinning. "I mean, you're literally over there worrying about this."
"I'm not worrying..."
"You're calculating the cost of the wasted shampoo, Sean... admit it."
"It's just that clearly they *do* expect you to take the shampoo," he continued, finally losing his tie and placing it on top of Christian's. "Cause if they didn't, don't you think they'd pursue it? Don't you think they'd put it on your card?"
"Sean," Christian said, walking lazily towards him and putting his hands on his shoulders. "You always do this."
"Do what," Sean asked, backing up and yanking his dress shirt out of the waistband of his pants.
"Start babbling like a fifteen year old girl on her prom night," Christian answered with a laugh, grabbing Sean's hand and pulling him closer to him. "We've done this before Sean... I don't know why you always get nervous."
Sean looked up into his eyes and felt his shoulders slump. "I don't know... it's just that I'm married, and... not gay."
"Why do you insist on labeling things," Christian asked, unbuttoning Sean's shirt and leaning forward to kiss him softly. "Why can't this just be something we do? Why do we have to quantify it?"
"I don't know," Sean said defeatedly, his hands slowly rising to rest on Christian's chest. "I'm just not used to this yet..."
"Yet," Christian echoed, smiling down at him. "Is that a hint at this being something you'd like to get used to?"
Sean sighed, allowing Christian to extract his shirt from his limbs and run his soft skilled hands over the newly exposed flesh. "When I don't think about it I do."
Christian frowned, loosening Sean's belt. "What does that mean?"
Sean began unbuttoning Christian's shirt and shrugged again. "When I'm not here, when I'm not with you, it's easy to say it's a fluke. It's easy to say it's good because sex is always good, it's easy to say it's just this unexpected thing that happened." He bit his lip and looked up at him Christian and shook his head. "But when I am here... when I'm with you... I know it's more than that."
Christian's hands lifted to cup Sean's face and forced their eyes to meet. "You know I love you, Sean. You know that right?"
Sean nodded, licking his lips. "I love you too."
"So it doesn't matter who's gay or who isn't. It doesn't matter who's married or who isn't. It's me and it's you, and it just is." He smiled, kissing Sean softly as he unzipped his khakis and Sean's pants fell to the floor. "That's all that matters, Sean... it just is."
"Has it always been, though," Sean asked, his eyes closing as Christian's mouth found it's way to his shoulderblade.
"What," Christian asked, his tone equally amused and annoyed.
"Between us... Julia always said I was much easier on you than her," he said, his voice soft and distracted as Christian ran his tongue down his neck. "I just wonder if it's always been there, underneath the surface."
"Sean," Christian said, his head popping up to smile at him. "Talk later... kiss now."
Sean laughed, nodding, pulling Christian closer to him and kissing him. They always said they'd talk about it later, and they never did. He knew chances were they'd never wind up talking about it at all, but later always sounded good in times like these. Later when Christian wasn't standing naked before him waiting for him to give him permission to make him the happiest guy he'd been in a long time. Later when his mind was in control of him instead of his dick. Later when it mattered more.
But here, now, with him... nothing mattered but them.
It is what it is.
It just is.