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Real Person Slash

Warning: Slash about real people. Don't like it? Don't read it.

Bitter ( version 1 / version 2) [Johnny Depp/Skeet Ulrich] [NC-17]
The script was good, the director was better, and everything else fit into what he liked to do. Except for the fact that the part of his brother was being played by none other than his talentless limp-dick lookalike, Skeet Ulrich.

Exuberance [Johnny D/Orlando B/Vince] [R]
But the pads of his fingers brush across Orlando´s cheek ever so lightly, and it´s still there. That current that lies between them. That thing that Jack Sparrow started in the first day of shooting two years before and had remained constant ever since.

Torture [Sands/El, Johnny/Antonio] [NC-17]
"Sands is the guy you hold back at the supermarket when the person in front of you has five million coupons they conveniently forgot to tell the clerk about beforehand,” he said, laughing again.

Bender & The Lee [Ben Affleck/Jason Lee] [R]
I´ve never actually thought of being with another man before. Not really. Oh sure, the occasional thought that Burt Reynolds is sexy in his own way. Perhaps spending too much time admiring how good he looks in those jackets he wears, and the hats that only he pulls off so well. But never actually thought of kissing him.

On Empty Balconies [Johnny D and the Double V] [R, for language]
He thinks he´d much rather be in Kentucky, and it´s the first time he´s thought that in a while. Laughter that reeks of hollowness wafts past him, and the scent of too much perfume in too confined of a space makes him itch to somehow slink out of his body just to get away.

Never Say Never [Craig Kilborn/Vince Vaughn][R]
Vince yanked at Craig´s shirt, pulling the tails out of his black suit pants. With quick nimble fingers he began to undo Craig´s shirt with one hand as he bit Craig´s ear, smiling at how Craig trembled when he did that.

Press Junket 1 / Press Junket 2 [Vince Vaughn/Ben Stiller] [R]
“I don´t even know what state it is anymore,” Ben answered, rubbing his face with his hands. “All I know is that I just spent three hours trying to be funny and I´m finally in my hotel room, which is where I wanted to be all day anyway.”

European [Johnny Depp/Ben Stiller/third person] [R]
At first you´d thought you´d be closer to Ben than to Johnny because well… Ben just seemed more affable. It was Johnny, though, that was the first to invite you out for drinks.

All is Well in the Caribbean [Johnny Depp/Orlando Bloom][R]
“I almost forgot how much fun Jack is,” he said, sliding up behind Orlando in that sneaky way of his. He propped his chin on Orlando´s shoulder and smiled out at the ocean.

Attraction [Ben Stiller/Owen Wilson][PG13]
His nose is fucked up, and he always looks like he´s glaring at the sun, even when it´s nighttime. He´s even got a little bit of a potbelly. And yet… something´s beautiful about him.

Practice [Ben Stiller/Owen Wilson] [PG-13]
Closing his eyes he leaned forward through the last little bit of awkwardness and met Owen's lips with his own. He started to pull back at the jolt he felt but Owen's hand was in his hair and he couldn't.

Asides & Vibes [Owen/Ben] [PG-13]
I can´t remember exactly how or who brought it up, but I do remember one of them saying specifically that it must be something in the name ‘Ben,´ because Affleck had rumors of Damon and Stiller had rumors of Wilson. Ben said something along the lines of we had Ben-gay cream to blame for that, then rolled his eyes at the stupidity of that.

Accidental [Owen/Ben] [PG-13]
Owen smiled and Ben laughed, and when Owen bent to give him a hug, Ben didn’t even hesitate. When Owen turned his head to kiss Ben’s cheek and he missed and hit his lips, Ben felt the spark, but the smile in Owen’s eyes and the breathy laugh made him decide it was just a fluke.

Fusion of Souls [Owen/Ben] [R]
It does give them pause though when they found themselves looking at the other for perhaps a bit too long. When Ben finds himself closing his eyes, confusion filling his mind, when Owen makes one of his many breathy gasps of amusement. When Owen finds his eyes resting on Ben’s thighs and wondering to himself about just when was it that Ben became so well toned. When eyes catch for too long, and hugs turn into caresses, and a ruffling of the hair turns into a cupping of the cheek.